When is it time to let go?

[Sangersteve]

We all love our close relatives and want them to be around forever, but doesn't there come a time when you have to let them go for their sake?

This is personal so here goes.

The facts are: Elderly parent, in a advanced care facility,90% of the time can't identify anyone when they visit,very poor health, on a breathing machine, major meds to keep major functions working and feeding tube. Twice been to ICU for non-responsive.Quality of life is gone.

Is it more compassionate to prolong the inevitable conclusion or to instruct the staff to DNR?

I understand the child not wanting to let go of the only parent left, but is it fair to the parent?

None of us get out of this life alive, do we need medical science to prolong the suffering?

[RedEye]

I actually just went through that in October. My wife decided to go on hospice and passed on 10/21. Even with her making the decision it was extremely difficult to accept. It will actually be easier to let go of my mother, she's in a nursing home and has some degree of dementia. My siblings and I have accepted he inevitability of what's going to happen and actually believe that she's ready too. We've chosen to only provide for her comfort with no efforts of life support.

[grouchy]

We lost my Dad 10 years ago today. He had designated me as the one to make the decision on withdrawal of life support.
We all got the chance to say our goodbyes. Those that couldn't handle it left and the rest of us stayed by his bedside.
I really miss him and wish I had caused him less problems when I was younger.

[tx3653]

I had a good friend pass away last year. He had been in an assisted living facility for 4 years and couldn't remember even his daughters. We were with him his last 8 hours as a comfort to his wife and he looked like death when we first got there. We stayed with his wife at his bedside until his daughter from Houston got there. It was some of the worst hours of my life.

I think Dr. Kevorkian should have been given a medal instead of being jailed. He saved families years of heartache and no quality life by helping them end the life of a family member who hadn't any quality life for ages.

[crocmommy]

There are a few on DDFB that I know of who are very close to losing a parent that probably haven't said much...

[John in Plano]

No machines for my parents, they are 87 & 91. My dad has said that for years as has mom.
Father in law wants to be kept alive as long as possible, not sure about my m-i-l. F-i-l had to make the decision to unplug his f-i-l after his wife and m-i-l wouldn't make a decision and now he's forcing someone else to do it.

[PlanoSooner]

when quality of life ceases to exist..... it is dnr for me

i hate it when these people subject their family to all kinds of invasive procedures even though there is no hope