Do you still help support your grown children?

[knotlazy]

No. Both our kids make a good enough salary to pay their bills. However, if they needed something like a new A/C unit...I'd be glad to float them a no interest loan.

[Trixie]

I have a story similar to LL. My husband has two daughters from a previous marriage. He dutifully paid child support, sent extra here and there with nothing but expectations from them. They never called, emailed or visited unless they needed something. College time came along. One chose to attend the most expensive private college in Pennsylvania (where they currently live), but she decided to do it on her own with student loans, but when she graduated she just thought those things paid for themselves, by themselves. We gèt letters in the mail but have started returning to sender because this daughter won't call us back to give us a current mailing address.

The other daughter also wanted college, and in order for her to do that, she decided to join the Air Force and have the military help her out. We heard from her one time and then quit communicating because she was just too busy. A few years go by until she emailed her dad and announced she was getting married and then told him that her mother was kicking in money, her future in laws were kicking in money and then asked him how much he planned to kick in. He said he didn't think he could help out. He received a nasty phone call from her, cursing him for being a horrible father and saying she never wanted to see or hear from him again.

It broke his heart and angered me because these girls are so selfish.

The undercurrent of this relationship goes way back. My husband wanted to be involved with his children's' lives, but their mother wasn't as cooperative as he thought she would be.

[knotlazy]

That's a shame, Trixie.

When hubby and I were raising our kids...we made them responsible. Responsible for cleaning stuff...responsible for helping with stuff....and when they were in high school...responsible for paying for stuff....Our son chose to skip college and went right into work at hubby's business...and when he graduated from high school...he inherited every one of his bills...we paid nothing. He lived here rent free for a year or so...and that was ok with us but he had to abide with our rules. Once he moved out...he was on his own financially. Our daughter went to college and she worked part time through most of it and paid for gas...make up...clothes...extras while we paid for basic living expenses as she was making great grades and moving on....she had a job lined up before she graduated with the 2nd degree and now is making the big bucks....

In our family...what worked was making them responsible for little stuff when they were little....and big stuff when they could handle it. We had an account specified for a wedding for LIttle Longhorn...and didn't contribute a dime more....she stuck to it...

[Mark]

Our 23 year old daughter is in graduate school in Austin. We pay her rent ($850 per month for a one bedroom apartment), provide a cellphone, and provide her auto insurance. I do her vehicle maintenance when she visits. She pays for all of her other living expenses.

We would provide her with health insurance, but she has better insurance with her teaching assistant job at UT than I can get with my corporate employer.

When she gets her masters next May, she should be able to get a job out-earning either of us and she will then be self-sufficient.

[LibraryLady]

Not that it matters, but just for the record...the DIL I mentioned is not the one in Canada.

[Bob Of Burleson]

Not that it matters, but just for the record...the DIL I mentioned is not the one in Canada.

You'd BETTER clear that up.

[GRANDPA]

My parents made it clear as long as we lived in their home it was their rules & yes, that included a curfew. All of us moved out as soon as we could & none of us ever moved back in. I believe that's one reason we all have a good relationship.

[John in Plano]

No.
We loaned them money once, they didn't ask for it. I'll not share why and it was my idea, not my wifes. I let her work out the payment plan. I did a lot of babysitting/raising of our oldest grandchild, our son and grandchild lived with us for a little while. Our kids know our door is always open to them and the grandkids.

[OnTexasTime]

I would say a lot of my friends are subsidizing their adult children on a monthly basis. I know it because they talk (complain) about it, but never stop it. In some cases its just a couple hundred a month in cell phone bills, others are a lot more.

One couple, the wife inherited her parents house and let her adult son and his family move in for free. On top of that she pays the taxes and repairs on the house. Then she started writing the married daughter checks on the money market monthly so she was getting the same free stuff as her brother. The husband (Dad) moved out and filed for divorce so he could have a chance to save for retirement. At sixty they only thing they had was the paid for house they were living in.

[scarlett~nc]

I didn't take into account helping out my children as far as babysitting. I have pretty much been the full time babysitter for all 6 grandsons , from the time of 2 months until ....at least mid grade school not expecting a payment at all. I bet that sure help them out a ton !!!!