Txdigest.com

When one of my sons was about three or four, we told him one night to eat his vegetables before he left the table.
A few minutes later we were in the living room and the boy came in. I asked him if he had eaten his vegetables. He said yes. I told him I was going to go check. He said, "No Dad, DON'T CHECK, DON'T CHECK".

BillP wrote:When one of my sons was about three or four, we told him one night to eat his vegetables before he left the table.
A few minutes later we were in the living room and the boy came in. I asked him if he had eaten his vegetables. He said yes. I told him I was going to go check. He said, "No Dad, DON'T CHECK, DON'T CHECK".

Mark wrote:My granddaughter is in the jabber stage and is ready to say her first word at any time.

I can't wait to hear the things she has to say.

Some of them will be hilarious. Post them here

"Don't Check" is hilarious.

My wife took grandson #2 to pick up grandson #1 at school last week. As they were driving home, grandson #1 was counting the seconds between lightning strikes, and informing my wife of the distance. When they pulled up to his house, she told him, "Scoot right on in: I'll be right behind you."

However, as soon as grandson hit the door, it started raining cats and dogs. Grandson was at the window watching, then disappeared for a minute. My wife later found a Facebook Messenger text from him:

"I advise you to not take the baby outside. Sorry about the downpour."

I should have said "counting the seconds between lightning strikes and thunderclaps" to calculate the distance.

This one isn't in the "hilarious" category, but I think it's worth mentioning:

When I was driving him home from school recently, we somehow landed on the topic of "pi". He asked me, do you know what the value of pi is, grandpa? I replied, "Um, it's something like 3.14156."

He responded, "Close. It's 3.14159. Actually, it's 3.141592653589793238462643, but it goes on for infinity."

Me: "Is that as far as you could memorize it?"

Him: "No, that's how far Alexa goes."

I picked up Jello III from school yesterday. I noticed that he had gotten a haircut, so I said, "Oh, you got your ears lowered."

He responded, "Yeah... a licensed cosmetologist surgically lowered my ears. It was painful, but worth it. She lowered my eyes, too."

jellowrestling wrote:I picked up Jello III from school yesterday. I noticed that he had gotten a haircut, so I said, "Oh, you got your ears lowered."

He responded, "Yeah... a licensed cosmetologist surgically lowered my ears. It was painful, but worth it. She lowered my eyes, too."

..and how old is this quick witted little nipper?

GFB wrote:

jellowrestling wrote:I picked up Jello III from school yesterday. I noticed that he had gotten a haircut, so I said, "Oh, you got your ears lowered."

He responded, "Yeah... a licensed cosmetologist surgically lowered my ears. It was painful, but worth it. She lowered my eyes, too."

..and how old is this quick witted little nipper?

He's 10 now. Hard to believe. He has a 19-month old brother.

This one isn't so much "hilarious" as clever:

Jello III wrote a poem for school. In it, he mentioned his "baby brother babbling". I asked him if he knew what that was called. He thought for a second, then said, "An accidental alliteration."