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Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:34 am
by Jami
Did you ask your wife's father for permission to marry her? If so, what would you have done if he said, No?

There's a new song out called Rude by Magic!. I like the melody but the lyrics are talking about asking a father for permission to marry his daughter. The man says, no. The lyrics go on to say that he's going to marry her anyway. What's the point in asking for the father's permission if you're going to do what you want anyway?

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:37 am
by GFB
No, I didn't.

..and nowadays young people consider marriage AFTER they have a kid and AFTER they buy a house..so I don't think Dad is going to say yes to anything today.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:47 am
by bodine
I couldn't; as he had passed away about a year before we started dating.

My wife was the younger sister of a good friend at college; although at college, she was engaged to someone else back home (so why go away to college?). We did a couple of things as friends in college, but no dating. And our families were somewhat intertwined by circumstance, as my brother was in the same frat as her brother and a future brother-in-law (future husband of wife's sister). Both of my brothers and my sister worked at the same Mr. Gattis as the same future brother-in-law. Confused? My family sent four kids to the same college; her family sent three...

I don't think I asked her mom for permission to marry; although I am sure it was discussed, as we spent lots of weekends at her mom's condo on Lake LBJ...

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:03 am
by BigTex
The first time I met my wife's father was at the rehearsal dinner. A little late at that point.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:28 am
by Chlorine Tinsley
Yes, I did.
He said yes. However it was an unusual event in that he was her step-father and her biological father was still alive. It was a very stressful time for my wife as she was on decent terms with her biological dad ever since her parents' divorce. She was 8 yrs old at the time of their divorce and grew really close to her step father over the years.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:30 am
by knotlazy
My hubby did not. I told my dad soon-to-be hubby was buying me a ring. All dad said was "tell him I need to see if he can support you." :roll:

My son had just told me he was going to ask his girlfriend's father if he could ask her to marry him....when he was killed by a drunk driver. It took a couple of years for her and her mom to regain emotional footing after the trauma but eventually my son asked her mother. Mom was so excited she yelled "yes!" She adores him.

My SIL asked my hubby....came over for dinner a few weeks before she graduated and moved back home. There happened to be a tornado and we took our cars to sit under the bridge at the highway and that's where he asked him...while tornado sirens were going off and hail was falling...it was pretty amusing...

I'm glad they guys made the effort to speak of their intentions before they actually asked....both girls were hoping for a ring but were surprised. However, all had been dating long enough that we would have known if it was not a good situation and helped them deal with it long before it got to that point. We are very happy for both couples.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:52 am
by scarlett~nc
My grandson just got engaged, he did ask her father's permission. Old fashion, but really sweet I think ..of course the mom and dad were thrilled and said yes.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:10 am
by kent
I did not. We were both 17, in high school (1977). He was OK with it. My dad just said we needed to wait a bit, I told him we were waiting until we were out of high school and I had my "first job". We were married in March of 1980.

My son-in-law called to ask permission. Kelly answered my phone and they discussed it. All we said is that we wanted them to wait until they graduated college. He said that wouldn't be a problem. A couple of months before the wedding he took me to dinner. He said he wanted to apologize to me because he talked to Kelly and not me. I told him, "You talked to Kelly, so you DID talk to me." Besides, I was right there anyway and didn't have a problem at all with it, actually appreciated it. He said he had felt bad all that time. :) I knew then that he was a good one.


I wouldn't say no, even if I wanted to. What's the point? It just gets things off to a bad start.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:53 pm
by Jami
bodine wrote:I couldn't; as he had passed away about a year before we started dating.

My wife was the younger sister of a good friend at college; although at college, she was engaged to someone else back home (so why go away to college?). We did a couple of things as friends in college, but no dating. And our families were somewhat intertwined by circumstance, as my brother was in the same frat as her brother and a future brother-in-law (future husband of wife's sister). Both of my brothers and my sister worked at the same Mr. Gattis as the same future brother-in-law. Confused? My family sent four kids to the same college; her family sent three...

I don't think I asked her mom for permission to marry; although I am sure it was discussed, as we spent lots of weekends at her mom's condo on Lake LBJ...


So when did you start dating? When she ditched the fiance?

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:24 pm
by truep
I took my wife's mother, and father out to breakfast and asked both of them! We had the wedding at their apartment, but Not the wedding night! 35 years.

Re: Question for husbands

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:27 pm
by bodine
Jami wrote:
bodine wrote:I couldn't; as he had passed away about a year before we started dating.

My wife was the younger sister of a good friend at college; although at college, she was engaged to someone else back home (so why go away to college?). We did a couple of things as friends in college, but no dating. And our families were somewhat intertwined by circumstance, as my brother was in the same frat as her brother and a future brother-in-law (future husband of wife's sister). Both of my brothers and my sister worked at the same Mr. Gattis as the same future brother-in-law. Confused? My family sent four kids to the same college; her family sent three...

I don't think I asked her mom for permission to marry; although I am sure it was discussed, as we spent lots of weekends at her mom's condo on Lake LBJ...


So when did you start dating? When she ditched the fiance?


No. She was two years behind me in school; we met when she came to a college day while she was a senior in high school. She was dating her then fiance; until her senior year of college, when he got someone else pregnant the spring before their summer wedding. I was in Abilene at the time. She coached a kid in high school who played college basketball with my sister; she would go to games to watch her player; I would go to games to watch my sister; we usually ended up sitting together, talking through the whole game. We were both dating other people at the time. Well, occasionally I would date somebody. Nine years after we met; I was living/working in Grand Prairie; she was living/working in Giddings. Her brother lived in Arlington; his wife invited both of us to a New Year's Eve party at their house. We hit it off. We spent most every weekend together til we got married the following July. Been together for 27 plus years...