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If you are over age 21, have you discussed or written down your wishes for DNR, end of life issues?

Does someone in your circle of loved ones know if you want to "pull the plug" if needed, or if you want to be kept alive no matter what the outcome...or any point in between?

If not, I urge you to do that--sign the forms even (medical health power of attorney).

PLEASE do that for your family. Don't leave them guessing as to what you would want.
We never know what the future holds for us.

Or fighting over what you would want. And there's some who don't want to let go even though they know the patient wouldn't want to be on life support.

And then there are the family members you never see who suddenly come out of the woodwork wanting to have some say in the decision.

You have all 3 nailed it.

My Wife and Family know my wishes. Nothing Heroic, let Me go as peacefully as possible. Cremation after that. I choose to go that way. ( Yes, I am well over 21 )

As you can guess, my sister and her husband never have discussed this.
I am shocked to learn that. ....just shocked.

Now, she is left to decide what to do.

I guess because we are planners by nature, we have discussed. Having 2 good friends die under bad circumstances made us discuss it again, so we both know what the other person wants at end of life and for burial etc.

LibraryLady2 wrote:As you can guess, my sister and her husband never have discussed this.
I am shocked to learn that. ....just shocked.

Now, she is left to decide what to do.

I guess because we are planners by nature, we have discussed. Having 2 good friends die under bad circumstances made us discuss it again, so we both know what the other person wants at end of life and for burial etc.

I understand why people plan..but I can equally understand someone just leaving decisions like this to the surviving spouse..life is for the living.

I understand why people plan..but I can equally understand someone just leaving decisions like this to the surviving spouse..life is for the living.

That doesn't work in a hospital in the middle of the night when a decision has to be made by whatever doctor happens to be there. And they are not likely to call a leave a message on your cell phone.

I would not want my wife or kids to have to make that decision on my behalf. I love them too much.

That's true Grouchy. Even with knowing what the patient wants, it's still so very hard, but at least there's no "guilt" knowing what the patient wanted.

Well stated Ann and Grouchy.

IMO, even more important when step children are involved.

planosteve wrote:

I understand why people plan..but I can equally understand someone just leaving decisions like this to the surviving spouse..life is for the living.

That doesn't work in a hospital in the middle of the night when a decision has to be made by whatever doctor happens to be there. And they are not likely to call a leave a message on your cell phone.

Yes it does..I've lived through that scenario.

The doctor has no way to call the ill person's cell phone for their instructions..anyone else's..yes.

But at that point..any family members that care are already there.

Yes it does..I've lived through that scenario.

The doctor has no way to call the ill person's cell phone for their instructions..anyone else's..yes.

But at that point..any family members that care are already there.

So have I. Family members, that are able, are not going to spend 24/7 for weeks on end in a hospital with someone who has a terminal illness.

planosteve wrote:

Yes it does..I've lived through that scenario.

The doctor has no way to call the ill person's cell phone for their instructions..anyone else's..yes.

But at that point..any family members that care are already there.

So have I. Family members, that are able, are not going to spend 24/7 for weeks on end in a hospital with someone who has a terminal illness.

That's why I said.."spouse."

The only one that matters.

And no..not "weeks"..decisions that are not explained clearly in writing will need to be made fairly quickly.