Hilarious things my grandson says

[jellowrestling]

Last week, my son and d-i-l told our grandson that he's going to be a big brother.
He smiled, then looked skyward and winked.

D-I-L: Ethan, did you just wink at God?

Grandson: Yes

[GRANDPA]

Our grandson just ratted out his mother. Wife & I are out of town, & he just now told us his Mom & boyfriend spent the night together IN OUR BED. I am not happy.

[jellowrestling]

Our grandson just ratted out his mother. Wife & I are out of town, & he just now told us his Mom & boyfriend spent the night together IN OUR BED. I am not happy.

He's got your back, Grandpa

[jellowrestling]

His birthday was a few months ago. They had a Nerf gun party, with over 1000 Nerf darts. The main activity was playing capture-the-flag. I would occasionally stroll around and help the kids gather up their ammunition. While doing this, I came upon my grandson, who was on one knee, reloading. He glanced up at me with one eye, then continued to reload and said, "Grandpa, I'm not on either team. I'm a bounty hunter."

[jellowrestling]

My wife was trying to interest him in some type of creative activity. As she modeled cutting out some sort of shapes for the project, she commented, "Isn't this fun?"

He raised an eyebrow and responded, "You do you, Grandma."

[jellowrestling]

When we picked up Jello III at school today, he said, "I held the door for (Mr. So-and-so)." My wife commended him for being a helper.
Grandson replied, "I don't want to be selfish, I want to be helpish."

[jellowrestling]

This popped up on my FB memories:

My (then) 3-year-old grandson and I were talking about the weather:
Me: "Is it hot today?"
Him: "No".
Me: "But you are in shorts and bare feet."
Him: "No, Grandpa. I not have bear feet. I have people feet."

[jellowrestling]

Three years ago, I took my son, daughter and grandson to Burger House, which I frequented when I was growing up. I asked my daughter if she would like a shake, which they make with real ice cream. She said, "Yes, but I'll need some help."

So, after taking a few sips of the shake, she said, "That's amazing, but I'm done. Do you want the rest?" I said, "Give it to Little Buddy; he'll love it."
A few minutes later, I realized that we/I had just given a nearly full shake to a 5-year-old, so I said, "Hey, Buddy, can I have a sip of your shake?"

He grabbed it with both hands and moved it to the side, away from me, and intoned, "First, give me your birthright."

I looked over at my son, who shrugged and said, "He's really into his Bible stories lately."

[Mark]

Three years ago, I took my son, daughter and grandson to Burger House, which I frequented when I was growing up. I asked my daughter if she would like a shake, which they make with real ice cream. She said, "Yes, but I'll need some help."

So, after taking a few sips of the shake, she said, "That's amazing, but I'm done. Do you want the rest?" I said, "Give it to Little Buddy; he'll love it."
A few minutes later, I realized that we/I had just given a nearly full shake to a 5-year-old, so I said, "Hey, Buddy, can I have a sip of your shake?"

He grabbed it with both hands and moved it to the side, away from me, and intoned, "First, give me your birthright."

I looked over at my son, who shrugged and said, "He's really into his Bible stories lately."

When my baby was about 3, we ate at the food court of one of the D/FW malls. We got corn dog nuggets for the baby, and my wife and I both had stuff from Taco Bell. This was back before Taco Bell became completely inedible. Anyway, while we were eating, my baby girl looked over at the bean burrito I was eating, and said, "I want some." I gave her a bite, and she took it from me. When I asked for it back, she shoved her corn dog nuggets at me.

I had to go buy myself another burrito. She ate the whole thing.

[jellowrestling]

Three years ago, I took my son, daughter and grandson to Burger House, which I frequented when I was growing up. I asked my daughter if she would like a shake, which they make with real ice cream. She said, "Yes, but I'll need some help."

So, after taking a few sips of the shake, she said, "That's amazing, but I'm done. Do you want the rest?" I said, "Give it to Little Buddy; he'll love it."
A few minutes later, I realized that we/I had just given a nearly full shake to a 5-year-old, so I said, "Hey, Buddy, can I have a sip of your shake?"

He grabbed it with both hands and moved it to the side, away from me, and intoned, "First, give me your birthright."

I looked over at my son, who shrugged and said, "He's really into his Bible stories lately."

When my baby was about 3, we ate at the food court of one of the D/FW malls. We got corn dog nuggets for the baby, and my wife and I both had stuff from Taco Bell. This was back before Taco Bell became completely inedible. Anyway, while we were eating, my baby girl looked over at the bean burrito I was eating, and said, "I want some." I gave her a bite, and she took it from me. When I asked for it back, she shoved her corn dog nuggets at me.

I had to go buy myself another burrito. She ate the whole thing.

That's hilarious. "If you think these corn dog nuggets are good, eat 'em yourself!"

[jellowrestling]

One day, when my grandson was still in a high chair, I brought some burgers home. As I sunk my teeth into my burger, I heard my little buddy exclaim, "Good job, Grandpa! Way to take a bite!"

Lot's of positive affirmation at our house.

[jellowrestling]

Last week, grandson came over to our house. As he jumped out of the back seat, I heard him say, "Spoiler Alert! Let the spoiling begin!"

[jellowrestling]

On another occasion, I asked my grandson if his grandma spoils him. He replied, "Yes. And you too, Grandpa."

[jellowrestling]

Grandson plays baseball. He "played up" this year, so he's playing against older boys. Made the All-star team and is doing well. He had a game this evening, and he came up to bat to lead off the last inning wearing sunglasses, but the sun had just dropped below the horizon, so Jello, Jr. asked him if he still wanted to wear them.

He took them off, and as he handed them to my son, he said, "I guess I should enjoy the full color spectrum while I do this."

[Sangersteve]

I must be slow

With all the food mentions

I'd completely forgotten about 1st grand daughter.

She was barely walking.

We were at a cook-off and had just turned in ribs

So against her mothers wishes

I handed her a rib

Minutes later a little hand on my leg

Handing me back the cleanest bone ever seen

From the messiest face ever seen

[jellowrestling]

A couple of days ago, my grandson was sitting on the floor, playing with a construction toy. At some point, he looked up and saw me spread out on the couch, with me legs stretched across it.

"Grandpa, you look like the stereotype of a lazy man."

Fair assessment, little buddy.

[grouchy]

A couple of days ago, my grandson was sitting on the floor, playing with a construction toy. At some point, he looked up and saw me spread out on the couch, with me legs stretched across it.

"Grandpa, you look like the stereotype of a lazy man."

Fair assessment, little buddy.

Grandkids are wonderful creatures.

[jellowrestling]

A couple of days ago, my grandson was sitting on the floor, playing with a construction toy. At some point, he looked up and saw me spread out on the couch, with me legs stretched across it.

"Grandpa, you look like the stereotype of a lazy man."

Fair assessment, little buddy.

Grandkids are wonderful creatures.

Yeah, the call 'em the way they see 'em.

[jellowrestling]

Last week, my wife was getting the ice off of her car. Grandson would pick off chunks of ice, drop them on the ground and say, "Expired. Expired. Expired."

Mrs Jello asked, "Got an aunt problem?"

[Mark]

My granddaughter is in the jabber stage and is ready to say her first word at any time.

I can't wait to hear the things she has to say.