Some thoughts for Thursday

[LibraryLady]

1- I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3- I can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding
a gun, she's probably angry.

4- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now
they drink like their fathers.

5- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

6- I don't like making plans for the day because then the word
"premeditated" get's thrown around in the courtroom.

7- I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

8- I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it
the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the jim this morning.

9- Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if
you find one, what's your plan?

[crocmommy]

Sounds like you went to Walmart today!